


o brother, where art thou?

by serafinawitchwoman



Category: TANIS - Fandom, The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: Child Abuse, Gen, Kid!Fic, Kidnapping, cw for ableist language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 11:22:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8011708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serafinawitchwoman/pseuds/serafinawitchwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Nic gets taken from Alex, they are nine years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	o brother, where art thou?

The day that Nic gets taken is a Saturday. Alex is really, really bored because she already finished all her homework, and Nic _promised_ her they could go adventuring today and keep looking for forest trolls and stuff, but his mom made him come with her to the stupid mall and he’s been gone all day and she has no one to talk to and nothing to do.  
“I’m so boooooooored,” she tells her mom, groaning and flopping back dramatically on the couch. Her mom, who is busy grading papers, just rolls her eyes and says “You’re too smart to be bored, Alexandra.” That’s what she says to everything.  
“Am not! Smart kids can be bored too. Especially when there’s nothing to do and their stupid best friend is at the stupid mall having a great time without them.” She’s mad now, and jumps up off the couch. If her mom’s not even going to listen, there’s no point in asking her to help.  
Once her mom is out of earshot, she whispers, “And don’t call me Alexandra” under her breath, and shuts the door to her bedroom.

She’s decided to re-read _The Phantom Tollbooth_ just because, and Milo has just made it to the Doldrums when she remembers what she’s mad about.  
“MOOOOOOOM HAS NIC COME HOOOME YETTTT?”  
“NO, AND DON’T YELL IN THIS HOUSE.”  
Fine.  
Milo meets Tock. Milo meets the king, and the bee who uses words like misapprehension. Now they have to go rescue Rhyme and Reason and talk to the Mathemagician, who Alex has always thought looks kind of like Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings, but if he had a job on Sesame Street.  
She’s so absorbed in the book that she doesn’t hear her mom talking on the phone downstairs.  
Alex is watching Milo face down the ugly filthy bird-monster who eats words when her mother opens the door without knocking, and Alex looks up to be mad at her but she stops when she sees how pale and ink-and-papery her mom’s face is.  
“Nic is missing,” Alex’s mom says.  
“What?” She doesn’t understand.  
“Nic is missing. Somebody kidnapped him. We don’t know where he is or who took him.”  
And it’s weird, because on TV when people say things like that, they cry and sob and scream like they’re really sad or scared, but Alex feels perfectly calm. The inside of her head is shiny porcelain white, and buzzing, and empty empty empty.

It’s only when she feels something disappear from inside her belly, and falls forward like a downed tree in a storm into her mother’s arms, that she realizes that she’s crying, and that the empty shiny coldness of her head isn’t calm at all.

When she’s managed to stop crying, she starts asking questions, like the cops do on TV. “Where did Mrs. Renee last see him? Did anyone see him leaving the mall? Did anyone see his car? Did they get the license plates? Do they know where he is? Is he okay?”  
She doesn’t think she’s shouting, but her mom still does the thing where she puts her hands on her shoulders, like _hush now_ , and she hates that and she doesn’t want to be quiet, but she still hushes, looking at her mother with painful, burning eyes.  
“Sweetie, they don’t know anything. It was just reported. Wherever he is, they can’t have gone far. We just have to sit tight, and wait, and pray, okay? Everything’s gonna be all right.”  
“That’s _bullshit_!” she yells, because it _is_ , but then realizes what she’s just said and shuts up hard. She waits to get yelled at, but her mom doesn’t even say “Language, Alexandra!” She just looks at Alex with these really really miserable eyes that make her want to hit something, and says “I’ll come get you if I hear anything, okay?”

She shuts the door.

This is so _stupid_.  
She paces around the room, back and forth back and forth back and forth, like the witch-lady in “The Yellow Wallpaper”, because if the kidnapper comes for her next maybe she can catch him and scare him and stick him in the wallpaper for real.  
And then eat him for good measure.  
She seriously considers climbing out the window and running off to look for Nic, but where would she even start? She doesn’t know how to get to the police station from here, or the mall, not on foot. And it’s getting dark; the woods at night are dangerous.  
A cowardly thought: she might die or get kidnapped too, and then she can’t save Nic at all.  
So the window is out. But what now? She has to do _something_.

See, because the problem is, Nic isn’t brave. Well, that’s not true. He’s not a chicken, or anything. But he’s more cautious than Alex. He always says they shouldn’t hike in places with sharp rocks, or bears, or sneak out at night to their treehouse to use his HAM radio. He sees danger where she sees adventure.  
And when he does get scared, he gets really, really scared. Like, can’t-talk, wide-eyes, can’t-move scared. Like a gazelle going into shock. He just sits there, and worries, and gets scareder and scareder until she has to calm him down.  
When Alex gets scared, she gets mad. She kicks and fights and paces around and bites and punches. She knows how to be mean.  
But Nic isn’t angry-brave. If he was locked in a cold, dark room, all alone, he wouldn’t think to kick or punch or bite, or kick down the door, or run hard as he could to get away. He’d just sit there, shivering, staying still and quiet and trying not to be seen. He’d get more and more scared until he couldn’t think how to get un-scared, and he’d just sit there, waiting.  
And Alex isn’t dumb. She knows that if Nic just sits there, and waits, whoever has him will hurt him, because he’ll be too scared to get mad and fight back, and that isn’t something she can think about right now.

She has to do something. She has to protect him.  
She can’t sit tight. She can’t wait.  
So she kneels down on the floor, shaking, and starts praying as hard as she can.  
_Please God send an angel to protect Nic. Help him. Help him not be scared. Make sure he’s not cold or hungry. Keep the bad man away from him. Make sure he gets home. Please God. Please help Nic get home safe. Please God protect him, because he won’t protect himself. Please send someone to save him. Please, please, please, save my best friend. I can’t lose him, please God, if you bring Nic home safe I’ll never be bad again, I’ll always do what Mom says and finish my homework and pay attention in church and I’ll never sneak out again ever ever ever, please please God, Amen._

She doesn’t stop, except to pee and sometimes to eat, and sometimes she prays even then, for three whole days.

In an old farmhouse, in a tiny room, unlit and drafty, miles away, a small boy hears a voice in the darkness.  
_Nicodemus, child, don’t be afraid. I was sent to protect you. Everything will be all right._  
He’s hungry, and cold, and drowsy, so he figures it’s a dream.  
“I don’t believe you.”  
_Alex sent me, child._  
“Alex?”  
_Yes. She’s very frightened for you, you know. She asked The King to send me to protect you. I will keep you safe._  
He has no idea what to say—this is all so weird, and creepy, and he wants to go home, he wants his mom—but he does believe that Alex would protect him. He does believe that God will protect him, if Alex says He should. He feels something sharp and knotted loosen in his chest, and he can breathe a little easier.  
The tears come out of the knotted place in his chest, and he cries, but he doesn’t feel so cold, and he can see moonlight in a cross shape on the wall above his head, and maybe that’s a sign, a message from God and Alex that they will get him home.  
_Sleep, child_ , says the voice in the darkness, and he does.  
He dreams about rats in mazes deep underground, in vast echoing caves with glowing moss on the walls. The hum coming from the walls gets in his ears and curls up inside his head, pushes aside the fear and the worry and swells up until it becomes his heartbeat, and his head is shining porcelain white, and humming, and empty empty empty  
_Keep walking, Nicodemus_ , says the voice in the darkness, from somewhere behind him. He does not turn around. He is not afraid. He must not turn around. He can never never turn around.  
_Keep walking, little one. We will take you home._


End file.
